I know I’m the second last person in the world who should be bloggin’ about food, but some peeps have been asking for my crockpot expertise.  As you RRs know, I’m nothing if not lazy, so I like to make my life as easy as possible.  Plus, I hate the fowl, (see what I did there?) fatty liquid at the bottom of the slow cooker to be wasted.   So here goes nothing…

Dinner One: Roast Chook

Cut up the veggies of your choice to be roasted, and chuck them in your crockpot.  Put the (extra-large organic) chook on top. Season and put a halved lemon on top.  I like to arrange the lemon on top of the chicken’s breast so it looks like boobs.  Makes her look a bit saucy…  Cook on the low setting, by weight of your bird, according to the instruction book (6hrs or so).  About half way through, squeeze the lemon over the chicken and discard.  Bye bye little chicky breast implants.  Turn the oven to full whack, and put the chicken and vegetables in for about 15-20minutes or so, to crisp ’em all up a bit.  Use some of the liquid in the crockpot to make a kick-arse gravy.  Don’t chuck the rest out, you’ll be using it in a minute for another dinner.  Now blanch your greens and serve up a delish roast to the family.

Once the chicken has cooled, get all the meat off.

Lunches:

If you get an extra large chook there will be enough meat for chicken sambos for tomorrow’s lunches. Yum.  A bit of mayo and shredded lettuce (Or Liam’s personal fave; chicken and American mustard).

Dinner Two: Italian-style Chicken soup.

Before all the fat starts to congeal in the crockpot, get onto the second dinner…  Get out your biggest pot for cooking soup.  Slop in a few glugs of olive oil, and brown off some garlic and onion.  Tip the liquid in from the crockpot as your stock, and add the rest of the chicken, a tin of tomatoes, a couple of chopped up celery sticks and some italian style herbs.  This week I used a handful of fresh basil and some dried oregano.  Let that simmer for a while, adding some hot water if required.  That’s it until tomorrow night. I’m so lazy I put the whole pot in the fridge as is, until the hungry hoards descend.  When that happens, put the soup back on the heat and make sure there’s enough fluid, adding more water if required.  Add one cup of macaroni or whatever small pasta you have hanging around.  As that’s softening, just check the flavour.  Sometimes I need to add salt, or a chicken stock cube, or even some sugar.  Once the pasta is cooked, you’re good to go.  Serve it up with stacks of grated parmesan (don’t be stingy with the cheese) and some yummy bread from Breadlovers at Sunrise Beach (FY:I Paul is the best baker in town, so anything he has is perfect.  I like the Vienna loaf with this.. In fact, whilst you’re there, why don’t you grab one of his family pies, and that’s tomorrow night sorted.  Serve it with some mashed potato and peas, and you can pretend you’re back in the 70s).

So there you go, a couple of dinners and the lunches done.  Dinner two is so easy you can cook up a quick batch of biccies or coconut macaroons (NOT Macarons)* at the same time.  I shit you not.  If the self confessed worlds’ worst cook can do it, anyone can.

* Coconut Macaroons: Mix 500g desiccated coconut and a tin of condensed milk.  Pop tablespoon sized dollops on a baking tray and cook at 180 degrees for about 10 minutes.  Sweet pleasure.

Here ends what is probably the worst food blog I’ve ever read.  I was even too lazy to take the pics that usually go with a food blog.  I won’t hold my breath waiting for my recipe book deal.  You probably won’t get another one for a while.  Unless I find some more recipes containing nutella.

As Carlsy would say: Bon Apps  …From The Ashers xx