Coco:  There are two ways to have a baby.  The gross way and the hospital way.

Me:  So is the hospital way a caesarean and the gross way a vaginal birth?  Which is incidentally, more common.

Coco:  Ewww, you’re gross. I can’t believe you said vaginal to me.  I MEAN how the baby got in there.

Me:  Huh? What is the hospital way?  *Has visions of doctors and nurses shacked up in equipment cupboards*

Coco:  You know, a test-tube baby.  When a baby comes from a petri-dish. (Duh)

Me:  And the gross way is….?

Coco:  I’m not telling.  Liam knows, ask him.  *runs off*

Coco:  *yells over shoulder*  And you and Dad are gross.

So it appears my work here is done. Gross out people. 

Probably wouldn’t cut it as a Wicked Camper writer.  Go over and sign this petition

…From The Ashers xx

Does the Mumma Guilt ever go away?

Are there any who walk among us who have slain the guilt dragon?

And if it wasn’t Mumma Guilt, would I have some other type of guilt: too fat, too slim, too lazy, too poor, too unfit, too ______ (insert your own negative concept here).

It’s the last day of the school holidays here, and we’ve had a blast.  Lots of laughs, lots of hugs, lots of jostling for attention and figuring out where we fit in the scheme of things (because yes, in my world, even sibling fights and annoying your parents and pushing boundaries are imperative to whole person development- and that’s just for me), lots of busy days and lazy days.  We have been out all day, and also stayed in our pyjamas.  We have gotten Coco a transfusion, been to the city, flown down to Newcastle, tended herb gardens, played in the sunshine on the beach, at the parks, in the trees.  We have defied gravity riding skate-boards down hills, ridden bikes, shot for goals, danced to new music, seen movies, visited cafes, had friends over, sat by open fires, toasted marshies, and sat staring at the water.  We have watched sunrises and sunsets, baked sweet treats, been to the shops together, written diaries (or blogs), read books together on the couch and played board games (yes, even frigging Pokemon).  We have laughed and sometimes cried when we drank Cherry Beers and wished our friend was still alive.  Hell, we have even done some craft (‘Thanks a lot” for this book from the the gates of Hell, Lara).

189 pages of unmitigated pain right there. I suspect this “text of the devil” deserves its own post…

Even with all of that, I have a strange feeling of unease, because I really, really need to get something done here at home today, and so we have decided to have a day at home, for this last day of the holidays.  So the kids will mainly amuse themselves.  Which will mean gaming.  Sure, they will also read a bit, eat a bit and run around a bit outside, but mainly, I know from experience, they will be “joining game”.  That means Minecraft.

As I (neglectfully) type they are in a room together, laughing like loons, at two Minecraft puppies named Chocolate and Cookies who are apparently jumping all over the mushrooms houses.  Or something.  They came out a moment ago, pissing themselves, garbled some unintelligible computery sounding phrases to me, and ran off, giggling.  Apparently there is a new update for Minecraft PE (Pocket Edition) and it is the best ever update.  Ever.  Something something, flowers, something, mushroom houses, something.

Apparently this is good fun..?

The laughing warms my heart.  Assuages some of the guilt, but not all.  Something, somewhere is telling me that I shouldn’t be allowing so much screen time.  That they should be doing something… else. Creative? Meaningful? Outside?

I remember as a kid my Mum had a friend who was always interrupting me from my love of reading and ushering me outside to “get some fresh air”, as if sitting quietly, independently amusing myself with my book friends, and not getting into any trouble was somehow shameful.  Something to be reviled not revelled in.

Some guilts go deep I guess.

So excuse me, whilst I open the doors and let in some ‘fresh air’.

Mine away kids, Craft away little ones.  I’ll deal with the guilt.

And if you need me, I’ll be right here.

Not.Moving.
(Except to get cups of tea to sustain me)

Do you too have “The Guilt”?

What about? And do you know how to make it go away?

…From The Ashers xx

Check out these hits:

1.  Sunshine.  Lucky there’s some, cos it’s bloody cold overnight here at the moment. Apparently as low as 3 degrees some mornings.  I say apparently because there is no way I’m getting out of bed for under 10 to find out.  I’m fancy like that.

2.  School holidays.  How good are they?  Not good for the blog admittedly.  And as for getting actual productive work done, not so much, but for not having to get out of bed until well after sunrise, well (see hit 1 above), thank you holidays.

Also: SERENITY NOW.  But you didn’t hear that from me.

3.  JB HiFi.  I haven’t set foot inside an actual record shop for a long time (Hence I still call it a record shop),  but we did this week, and let’s just say, they’ve come a long way, since back in my day.  You can get everything there, and I do mean everything*.  Including records.  Go there.  You will never want to leave.

4.  The Boathouse Restaurant on Gympie Terrace.  I haven’t been for yonks, and it’s much better these days.  I had a delish lunch there, replete with a great ricotta donut dessert that you really have to go and try, for the presentation alone.  They have a two-course-plus-wine meal deal for lunch… I’m going to try that next.  Great food, with views that turn you into a tourist.  That’s what I’m talking about.

5.  All of the warm things: hot water bottles and non-burnt heat bags, luxurious blankets, heaters, ugg boots that go almost to the knee, fluffy dressing gowns, flanno sheets, Woofa the Shitcat, cups of tea, stews, open fires and marshmallows, mulled wine, Nathan.  Warm things, I’m very glad to have you.  Mwah.

*No, I don’t really mean everything.  Of course they don’t sell sweet potato or pillows.  They do however sell a LOT of things.

So there are my hits, what are yours?

Are you on holidays?  Wotchupta?

…From The Ashers xx

Ever had one of those days when you really just need to be at home, to re-group, relax and just be with your people?  The kids and I had a family conference at 8am this morning and decided this was just what the (pretend) doctor (me) ordered, and agreed we would have a jammie day.

Here is what it looked like:

Morning sun..

Some DIY Pokemon for the Evil Geniuses

Whilst I found this spot in the sun..

We were suitably attired

Evil Genius One said, “Let’s go old school”, so we chose our fave controllers. Game on kids. No prizes for guessing which one is mine.

There was a bit of this..

Eventually we did go to the park for a bit. Just so we weren’t total sloths

We came home to ‘bake’ some of these babies. Thanks Bee Keeper Fred for the delish local honey.

Until finally it was time for these two to come out: Bob and Kitty, ready for bed.

Good evening and good night

Thanks Jammie day.

…From The Ashers xx

PS Not a sponsored post, but hit me up if you want some of Fred’s free range honey. It’s yum.

Have you ever been paralysed into inaction?

I have something to do that is so scary, so foreign to me and so heinous that I am completely mentally paralysed.

It is a public speaking thingy.

It may surprise you to hear that, even though I’m a compulsive over-sharer, and clearly a narcissist, when it comes to speaking in a public forum, I dissolve.  This forum is some annoying thing I agreed to do months ago, which I have thought about preparing for every single day since.  I have thought about doing it as many times as I have thought about exercising and doing my BAS.  Which is a lot.  (Thinking about doing them that is, not actually doing them.  The actual amount I have done them is precisely one time per quarter).

And now it is upon me. Only two Saturdays away.  So today I sat down in front of this very same computer, staring, at a blank Pages document for about half an hour.

I could not think of one single thing to write.

And now I have found that the inaction has spread like a man-made virus, and I can’t think of anything to blog about either.  This has happened  before, but rarely.  And usually just because I’m too tired after a big day at work.  This is different.

So instead of trying to do something proactive or productive to remedy the situation and mount a response to the virus, I have flattened my phone battery flicking between FB, Twitter and Insta, and now I am going to bed to read a novel.  Not a useful inspirational book that might help me get on topic, no, this will be a book bout a psycho killer in an imaginary world.  So clearly something that can’t wait

I will read until I am so tired hat my brain will flip the switch and allow me to sleep, to cease thinking about this thing that must be done, and, as we speak is spreading to other areas of my life.

All I hope is that by morning I will have forgotten how to make breakfast, lunch and dinner for my lot.*

*Some will suggest you can’t forget something you never knew how to do in the first place.  Those people are mean and rude and won’t be getting any brekky.   Among other things.

Have you ever been paralysed like this?

Got any speech ideas for me?  Anyone wanna write my speech?

…From The Ashers xx

It is “winter” here on the Sunshine Coast, and we are having an absolute ripper.  I may have mentioned whinged once or twice a billion times that the only thing I hate more than Winter is birds, but of course you can always shoot birds with a BB gun.  Winter just stays doesn’t it?  With the wind that stings, and cold that creeps into your marrow, so that you freeze from the inside out.  Well, right here, right now, none of those things are happening.  I am having my best winter ever.  Maybe it’s The Menopause, but I really don’t care.  I’m just so grateful.

Here are some of the reasons why:

The Maroochy River. What a spot to sit and, well, just sit.

A husband who will get me a cup-of-cino to sit with. Easily the best drink invented: a coffee and a dessert in one.

Looking at this river. Ahh, the beautiful Maroochy. I wish you could see the way the water was sparkling. All of those little ripples had shards of crystal bouncing and bopping on top of them.

Days long enough to make shadows with these gorgeous ones, who own my heart.

Coming up the stairs to our own afternoon view. The air gets crisp as the sun dips down, but the big blue makes it almost worth it.

A bottle of something fancy. I’ve decided that my life is better if I have a good drop in the fridge. I don’t have to drink it (yet), I just like knowing it’s there. It’s comforting.

This thing from Sol Republic. It might not be the prettiest speaker deck in the world, but it pumps out the sound, and lights up your own colour when you log your device in.. And so the DJ battle begins. I foresee silly times ahead.

A new record, of new music.
I just found my own nirvana at JB.
How good is a new album? Opening it up, reading the liner notes. It’s just so big and so real. Don’t get me wrong, I love iTunes, but this is something special.

The sunrise at Sunrise Beach this morning. It was cool out, and cool to see. I like a later start. Thanks Winter.

One of these to go with the sunrise. No art. No frills. Just a good old George Clooney to warm the cockles.  I said cockles.

Crazy times with the trees at Sunspace Cafe today: a Tropical with an Autumn one against the flawless Noosa Blue sky.

Summer in a tin.
I was gifted this today from a friend, and it is perfect for a sun worshipper like me. Smells like summers past. Makes my skin feel like it’s sixteen again (well, almost).

So there you have it.  All the reasons why, for once, I’m great.  And full.

Don’t tell Summer.

How is your Winter going?  What is great about your place right now?

And yes, Yanks and Canadians, I know you’re in Summer already.  No need to gloat.

…From The Ashers xx