I went away for a bit, and now I’m back.

Altered in ways I don’t even want to think about, but back.

This morning this happened:

At least that’s something.

I’ll tell you about it sometime, but not right now.

The air is too thin.

Oh Hayls

Yesterday I purchased my Sweet Ride, Ouiser Boudreaux, so we lost her maidenhead took her on her maiden voyage, on the Tour de Peregian.  The Tour, as we like to call it, was exactly like the other Tour, other than there were no hills.  Or French people.  Or actual exertion.  We did have rolls though, so: baguettes.

All was well, and all would be well, until we decided we would like to feed the canards (French for ducks) some of our baguettes.  The ducks were there, we were there, glutinous blobs at the ready.  Then we saw this:

Duck are gluten free too

ARE YOU KIDDING NOOSA COUNCIL?

Kiddies can no longer feed ducks at a duck pond.  And they should feel very guilty if they have ever done so before.

Nor can they do any of these things:

Fair enough really.  I mean, it’s not as if you come to a park to have any actual fun.   So I shook my UN-HELMETTED head, and cut another lap around the lake, ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE PATH, got a bit thirsty and DRANK WATER FROM THE UNFILTERED TAP and then went into the fenced off park area and LEFT THE GATE OPEN.  I told the kids to do the same, but they just went and sat nicely on the seat until it was time to go home.

Yep, livin’ on the edge, man.

I may have played this Ice T on my iPod on the way home.  I may have played super-soft so the kids couldn’t hear the swears.  Still a rebel though.

Are your parks over-regulated?

What rules are just too hard not to break?

Everyone in our family has a bike.  Some people* have more than one, and if you count the likes of trikes and Green Machines, I think we have more bikes per capita here at The Asher’s than most bike shops.  Everyone has ’em except for me.

I found a bike on the side of the road with a “Free” sign on it last year, so I took that rust-bucket home with a plan of doing it up.  I didn’t get much further than streamers for the handles and some new Spokey Dokeys.  The moral of this sad little tale is: don’t pick up crap from the side of the road, it is there for a reason (the reason is, that it is a piece of shit).

So today, in the interests of being able to go on a family bike ride on something other than a bright pink balance bike, I got this baby:

The Sweet Ride

And I bloody love ‘er.

No confusing gears, no need to tuck forward like I’m on the Tour, the most comfy, non-wedgie-inducing seat ever invented, and she has a STAND.  She can sit there, all pretty, happy to be gazed upon, without leaning on anything.  Self-sufficient she is.  As I looked at her lovingly I didn’t even care if I never rode her.

Until I rode her.

She has BACKBRAKES.  I haven’t ridden a bike with backbrakes since about 1981.  They RULE.

Check out that seat!

I couldn’t find a helmet cool enough for my pin-head at the shop, so I had to do the maiden voyage with my cranium all naked and unprotected, old-school style.  It felt amazing.  Wind in my hair and all that shit, but I gotta tell you I haven’t felt this young since, well, since I was last on a bike like this.

Check out the selling points:

• trendy (As if I didn’t know.. Please note, I will now be using the word trendy until it becomes, um, trendy again)
• compatible with sandals (I hope that means nice, woven, Roman Sandals).

I shall be veritably promenading on this beauty.

My advice to you, this day is:

1.  Get yourself one of these bikes

2.  Get yourself my husband**, or avail yourself of the $16.50 assembly fee… She was a bastard to put together AND she was missing a part, so I had to go back to the shops and get another, which wasted valuable coasting time, and gave me the shits.

3.  Get yourself one of these bikes.

4.  Forget to ask “Does my bum look big in this?”  (It does)

Don’t even say it

Bum size notwithstanding, best 150 bucks I’ve spent in ages.

What should I call her?

Do you love a comfy bike too?

*Spoilt brats I tells ya.

**$16.50 would be cheaper than my husband. He is has expensive tastes.

Note: This is not a sponsored post, but Big W, if you’re reading, you know, feel free…

Welcome to Hitwave Alison, my Top 5 for the week.

1.  Bistro C on Hastings Street.  The 9year old chose it for his birthday breakfast, because “It’s the best restaurant in the world Mum.”  It’s also the best location, sitting right on Noosa Beach.  So close you almost have sand between your toes.  Fab food and Fab views.  And cheeky waiters apologising for the view.  This view:

The view from Bistro C… Hard to beat. The waiters are dickheads

2.  These shoes, from Country Road.  I just love a summery sandal.  Things are hotting up around these parts, but the legs aren’t ready to be out in public just yet, so these sandals are just the thing.

Don’t look at the legs

3.  The weather this week.  Soooo good here these last few days.  I feel so lucky to live in such an amazing place, with such perfect Spring days.  We even had dolphins hanging around Main Beach this morning.  (In the water- not sitting at Sails or something.)

4.  All the kids in Liam’s class singing Happy Birthday to him.  Still so cute.  And how they then descended on me and my Zooper Dooper supply in lieu of cupcakes  (I canNOT bake cupcakes). Luckily I had scissors to fend them off.

5.  My Mum for buying a big box of Cadbury Favourites for The Kid as part of The Festival of Liam.  I’ve been siphoning those babies off nightly.  He has no clue.  I love being the boss of the house.  I don’t care if you think I’m a bogan Hayley, I bloody love ’em.

Have a great weekend y’all

What’s your Top 5?

*Not a sponsored post, but feel free to hit me up marketing peeps.

We were given tix to see the newest Pixar movie last night;  Cars Planes.  (Thanks Olivia!)

This is not a rave review.  Basically, Planes is the movie Cars, but planes.  I don’t think it is a spoiler to say: young upstart, cranky old guy who comes good, win-at-all-costs baddie, treacherous female, supportive friends and a Never Give Up attitude at altitude.  With a twist at the end.*

The worst news: it was in 3D.  I bloody hate 3D.  I hate the second hand glasses that don’t fit on my pin-head, I hate the vertiginous feeling as things come flying out at you, for no apparent reason.  3D is so distracting.  And really adds nothing to the movie.

But I do love Pixar.  They make beautiful pictures with gorgeous colour.  There were a couple of scenes that I’d love to see at home on my awesome telly (Thanks Darren), without the stupid 3D-iness.  And without any kids in the cinema.  The kid who was kicking my seat through THE WHOLE BLOODY MOVIE will not be invited.

But this post is not about that, it’s about this: our kids bloody loved it.  Whilst I was yawning and trying to stay awake, they were lapping it up.  Liam said on the way out that his “heart was racing through the whole thing, was your’s racing too Mum?”  Apparently it was exciting.  He was quoting lines, and having discussions about what type of planes certain fighter jets were, and then giving reasons why “they weren’t F-18s due to bomb positions , but they may have been Tomcats or Eagles” or some shit.

As they talked about how thrilling the movie was and which character they wanted to be, I started to like the movie. And when I heard how great Dusty was, and how they wished they could fly like that, I liked it a little bit more.  And by the time they were describing how good it was that all Dusty’s friends helped him and how he just kept on trying, I just loved that movie too.

Kids eh?  They might teach us a thing or two, but they sure do screw with our taste.

*There was no twist.  That was a trick.

What’s your fave kids movie?

Do you like 3D?

I have a kid, who, by her own admission is the “third smartest” in her class.  She knows this because, “In our class, the first smartest is Shaylah, and the second smartest is Stella.  Then there’s a few other kids, then me.  Third.”

So yeah, she’s nailed that one…

This third-smartest kid has had a big week.

She has an unusual type of anaemia which results in her needing blood transfusions every couple of months or so, and at the moment we are getting close to transfusion time.  So it means that her haemoglobin is somewhere around the point where most adults wouldn’t even be able to get out of bed.

And still she goes on.

You may have heard me whining about the fact that we lost her iPad back here. She had an iPad, not to play Minecraft on (Although you may be forgiven for thinking this was its sole function), but to complete her writing tasks at school, because when you’re knackered, sometimes even pushing the pencil along the little blue lines is a bit too much.

This week she got the ‘Class Member of the Week’ award at school.  Without the iPad (that is presumably still in the loving care of its new owners), and with a good old fashioned pencil and notebook, she wrote “my longest story ever, even longer than my other longest one ever.”

So I guess it was long.

Her award said this:

“Never give up.”

And she doesn’t.  Whilst all the other children her age have long mastered the monkey bars and have moved on to other things, bigger challenges, things higher and faster and more complicated, she goes out every lunchtime, swings, grabs, and gets to the first rung.  And falls.  Then tries again.  And falls.  She has blisters all over her tiny little hands, and bruises all over her knees.  And still she goes on.

Until this week, when she made it all the way.  Just once.  And she was so proud.  I wish you could’ve seen her beam.

You CAN see the blisters

I’m thinking maybe we can all learn something from this third-smartest kid.  Sometimes you don’t have to be the cleverest or the fastest or the most capable.  Sometimes, even though you may be the least-smartest, or the smallest, or the most tired, or the one that things just seem harder for, you can achieve greatness.  If you never give up.

How about you?  Do you give up?

What cool things did your kids achieve this week?