The kids have been jumping all about, getting excited about Father’s Day, and their chance to show Nathan their amazing homemade gifts.  I haven’t seen what they’ve made, but let me tell you,  it will be hard to beat the laminated, hand drawn “tie” from 2012.

I asked them this morning what the best thing about their dad is.

Liam said, “That he can make anything. He’s a carpenter you know”.  (Yep, I picked that up, thanks.)

Coco said, “How he tickles my feet with his scubble (sic) in the morning, and how he calls me Snickers, but he doesn’t call me Snickers anymore because it makes me want to eat Snickers, so yeah, not so much the Snickers thing, but the scubble thing, that’s funny.”

So there you go Nath, I couldn’t get anything else out of them.  Beards and construction.

I’ve got a few more ideas though, and yes it does look like a list.  This is why I think Nath is the duck’s nuts:

• That he is honest and fair and trustworthy and loyal and dependable, and his children know that
• That he is a hands-on Dad, and the kids know that he’s an equal parent
• That he cooks their dinner, reads them books at bedtime and gives them big, big hugs
• That he is always available for chats, or games, or mucking around
• That he knows how to make them laugh
• That he follows up on his promises, and keeps his word, so they can trust him
• That he is fiercely protective of them, and they can rely on him to keep them safe
• That he makes them billy-carts
• That he plays Sylvanian Families, spots possums and kicks the footy
• That he knows many, many, really crap kid-jokes
• That he loves them best
• That he truly believes that everything will work out in the end, so they catch his calm
• That he takes them fishing and surfing and camping, and teaches them how to do it for themselves
• That he dances with them, sings with them, so they love music too
• That I suspect he really wanted to breast-feed Liam himself, and calls him ‘my little mate’
• That he cried and cried along with me when we were learning about Coco’s diagnosis way back when
• That his arms are strong, his soul is open, and his heart is big.

Happy Father’s Day Nath, you rock.

Does the Dad in your life rock?

Did you have a happy day today?

..Pop in tomorrow for Father’s Day, yet to come

This Sunday is Father’s Day.

Some of us have them around to celebrate with; to buy them shonky gifts or, to make even worse ones, or as I used to do; to buy the same old Scorched Almonds from Darrell Lea just to see if: 1. they were surprised, and 2. I had any change left over for some Bo Peep lollies for myself.

And some of us only have the memories.

I’m going to share with you the page I wrote for my Dad’s eulogy.  Sounds a bit melancholy, I know, but I guess if you are playing along with me here, I’d like you to know what an amazing father he was to me.

Lessons From the Heart

Some people in the world try to teach others by lecturing or instructing, and some just quietly clear their throat, take a pause, and  gently lead by example…

When you brought me home a new book every Friday, no matter what kind of day you’d had, I learnt to value intellect, and to deliver on promises made.

When you quietly sat back and taught me to drive, without yelling even once, I learnt the value of calmness and patience.

When you would put down whatever you were doing, to help me with my homework, I realised the gift of letting children know they are more important than anything else.

When I cheated on your Rubik’s cube to get ten dollars, and you found me out, and just quietly said you were disappointed, I learnt to value of integrity and honour, and never cheated again.

When you took me on the Mad Mouse even though we were both terrified, I learnt to face my fears, and that sometimes we can lean on each other when things get tough.

When I saw all the things that you would quietly do for others, without need for accolades or repayment, I saw how wonderful things come from bringing happiness to the lives of others.

When I saw how you looked at my Mum, and I heard the phone ring for her every day, I learnt what it is to love someone with all your heart.

When I saw you hold our tiny babies, so tenderly and so naturally, I realised how much you sacrificed to be part of our family.

When I saw the joy you had guiding and playing with our children, I saw that unconditional love really does exist.

When I saw your silent suffering and the pain behind your smiles, I understood what true courage is, and how much you loved us, to try and spare us from your agony.

When I saw you take your last breaths, I learnt that the most important thing on this Earth is to live fully and love completely, and then to let go.

Thank you, my wonderful teacher.

 Happy Father’s Day to you all.

…Pop over tomorrow for Father’s Day, Present

My twitter is has gone cray-cray with all the talk of Miley and her performance with Robin at the VMAs.  To keep up with what the young people were talking about, I went and had a look, feeling a bit pervy as I clicked around YouTube to find the whole performance.  I expected to be shocked.

Now I know the song is awful, and the lyrics aren’t something I’m comfortable with any reasonable human singing along to, but in watching Miley’s contribution, I failed to be appalled.  I have seen various commentators suggesting Miley has lost respect for herself in parading around on her “nude-coloured” bikini (sounds so much more risqué when you hear it’s nude-coloured rather than beige, doesn’t it?).

I heard that Brooke Shields (who played her onscreen Mom in HM) had tweeted that Miley was “a bit desperate”.  Desperate for what Brooke?  Fame?  Attention?  To break away from being a syrupy Disney creation?  It’s show-business Brooke, surely fame and attention are the point of it… I don’t think she was desperate for whatever is in Robin Thicke’s horrid, too-tight, stripy pants.

One commentator even suggested that Miley should have toned it down out of reverence for Robin’s “lovely wife”. WHAT?  This is the man who sings Blurred Lines.  (I’m not even going to quote it here, lest there are people eating their dinner.)

I am just befuddled as to why so much of the spotlight is on Miley, and what kind of image she is portraying to her legion of young fans, rather than why there’s a creepy guy in a clown suit, looking like he’s trying to cop a feel of a girl young enough to be his daughter, whilst smiling, and singing glibly about rape.

Miley jumped around, she twerked, she poked out her tongue in a weird way (which by the way is hard to do- try it now- kind of hurts, huh?), but I couldn’t really seem to get offended.  Maybe I’m getting old, maybe I’ve seen too much, but I couldn’t find much to be appalled at.  For me, the worst thing was all the galavanting around with that huge hand.  I kept on expecting her to break into the Coles “down, down, prices are down” jingle.  Perhaps those old Coles codgers could’ve jumped up on stage.  Now THAT would have been appalling.

Were you shocked and appalled?

Can you twerk?

I’m so cross.

We just had the television on, and I see that Channel 7 has a new advertisement, and the backing track is a Van Morrison song.  Not just any Van Morrison song, but a great Van Morrison song.

What has happened here?  Where are all the jingle writers?  Surely they haven’t all gone the way of Charlie Sheen on that show?  Why are they using the songs from the soundtrack of my life to advertise products?  I do not like it, advertising people, I do not like it one little bit.

I remember a few years ago (okay, it was ten years ago, but I’m old: time flies and all that) a friend of mine was getting married, and she chose a beautiful song by Israel Kamakawiwo’ole, that was a mash up of Somewhere Over the Rainbow and What a Wonderful World, to walk down the aisle.  A few weeks before the wedding, it was on an ad for some kind of paint.  To her credit she ignored it, and went ahead with her plans.  And she was gorgeous.  We forgot about the paint.

Thing is, I can’t remember what that brand of paint was.  Because the song didn’t contain the product name.

So, advertising companies, I know you’re all reading my little blog, please take heed, and leave my songs alone. Get your own.

I do not want to see Specsavers using “Brown Eyed Girl”.   KIng of Knives, do not touch “The First Cut is the Deepest”.  Navman, leave “Are You Gonna Go My Way?” alone.   Brisbane tourism, “Funky Town” is not your theme.  Tewantin RSL, “Come As You Are” is not for you.  Kelvinator, leave “Cold Ethel” right where it is… Okay, that last one is a bit wrong. (But: Alice Cooper.)

And finally, talking of wedding songs, ours is featured on a mural on a wall of The Bohemian Bungalow in Eumundi.  I’ll forgive them this time, but only because they are awesome… (in lieu of free coffee* of course)

*This is not a sponsored post. I did not get free coffee.

 What songs are off-limits for you?

Who remembers the words to the Channel 9 News jingle “Brian Told Me”?

I was talking to my clever friend this week, about some things that I wanted to do to my workspace; renovate, get more staff, get more stuff, you know, the things that you usually do.  I was going on and on, and his eyes glazed over, and then he snapped out of it and said, “It sounds like you might be trying to fix something that isn’t really broken. Maybe things are great just how they are.”

WHAT?

I had no words (which is unusual).  So I just said “Mmm” and changed the subject.

But I couldn’t shake it.  I couldn’t get the idea out of my head that maybe I’m trying to fix something that needs no fixing, no intervention.  And maybe I do this in other areas of my life.  Creating jobs and drama and discord where they don’t need to be.  Messing with things that are fine just how they are.

I thought about all the things I try to modify, or move around to make improvements.  I’m always trying to make things and people better.  But what if they are at their best just how they are?

I remembered a time when I was trying to do it to Nathan, to make him happier of course, and another clever friend said, “Leave him alone he’s perfect, and happy just how he is.  He just needs a comfy couch, a cold beer, a good game of footy, a good feed and a good woman by his side.”  I laughed at the time, but the sentiment probably isn’t that far from the truth.  Could it be that it is really all that simple?

I saw on The Book Of Faces today that www.DrDemartini.com said this: “Trying to be what you’re not is tiring, boring and limits your chances of success.  Be honest about what you actually enjoy doing…. Pretending to like like yoga or politics because  you think you should doesn’t help anyone…”

I won’t pretend to like politics right now, but I do often feel a leetle biiit guilty about not doing yoga.

So today, I’m looking at what I am, instead of feeling guilty about all the things that I am not. I do love a list, so I’ll be writing one, whilst I sing along to this little tune from my birth year:

Do what you wanna do… (Because I Love You: Masters & Apprentices)

From The Ashers xx

What do you really want to do or be?

Are you trying to fix anything that isn’t really broken?

I work late a few nights a week, so on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, The Ashers tend to cut loose, and rock out a little.  Sometimes we use the vinyl, and other times we’re all techie and turn up the Apple TV, which hosts our music collection.

Liam drums to The White Stripes, or plays the uke to Funky Town.  Nathan does the groovy dancing, Coco runs around like a loon, and smashes head-first into the couch, and me?  Well, I’m the DJ with the 80s dance style. You know it; failing arms, white-man’s overbite.  Very, um, cool.

Songs are like smells for me.  They evoke a memory that is strong and pure. Three chords in, and I’m back to a time…

So let me tell you a true story:

Back in 2004 I was at the Byron Bay Blues Festival, half-way pregnant and starving. Always.Bloody.Starving.  I was standing out the front of the best pizza joint in the known world, waiting for a table.  A tall dude came loping along and tried to squeeze past my pendumen (pedulous abdomen).

Alas for him, he tried to go between me, and the gateway to food.  Not possible.  I pushed my protrusion forward and blocked his way.  I may have growled a little.  He kind of shuffled back, gave me a strange little look, and went around the other way.  Turns out he wasn’t trying to steal my spot, he was just moving through.  I smiled bovinely back at him, once the emergency was averted.  He smirked back, said “Hey,” and disappeared off down the street, and I like to think he was humming the beginnings of a little tune as he went.

Nath leaned in and whispered, “That was Michael Franti.”   I didn’t take much notice at the time, because: PIZZA.

I know what you’re thinking, “Oh my, Michael Franti wrote you a song.”  And yes, I suspect that is true.  Now before you start getting all confused with facts, and pesky things like that, check out the lyric:  “Bump into a person in the middle of the road, Look into their eyes and you suddenly know.” Amazing, right?  I’m only just recovering…

So that is what DJ Shadowcat will be playing ’round these parts tonight.  The song written for me when I was glowing and gorgeous and politely smiling at the lovely people of Byron Bay  when I may have tried to fight some big bloke for food.

It’s one of my favourite songs, and not only because it was written for me, but because it lifts my heart, every single time.  I wave my hands in the air, and jump like I have the pelvic floor of a twenty year old.  The Ashers all scream out the chorus together.  And of course we smile.  How can you not?   Michael Franti, you give good song.

Pump it up, think of someone you love, and rock out with us.

Say Hey… aka “I love you random grumpy pregnant chick”

Do you have a song that gets you every time?

How good is Michael Franti?