Here they are, the hits of the week:

1.  Medical knowledge.  Sometimes, you know, it just comes in handy.  All those lists of differential diagnoses?  I guess you learn them for a reason, mainly in the hope that you’ll never have to use them, especially the ones at the top end of the list.  The scary end.  I had a reason to use one such list today, and I’m thankful for knowing all the high-points.  Turns out that sometimes the human brain, if it listens, and knows its lists well, can be just as good as a CT or an MRI.   Thanks Alan Terrett.

2.  These shoes:

They’ve had most fluids you can think of spilt on them, and I hope they will again..

They’ve done some K’s these shoes and I, since we made our acquaintance in 1988.  They didn’t get to go to Dan Sultan last night, but I reckon they might be good for a few more gigs* yet.  Good onya Doctor Marten.  You give good sole.

3.  This park:

Speaking of giving good, Newcastle, you give good park.  Sunset over the massive slide and the very fast flying fox, among other things, equals Kid Heaven.  The Evil Geniuses want to go back to Newy next holidays just to go there again.

4.  This kid:

Apparently she got “brave” blood this time.  I’m not convinced this is strictly true, but hey, she did go down the massive slide by herself, which is a feat.  Go you good thing.  And thanks for the courageous claret, anonymous donor.  You rock.

5.  School holidays.  How good?  They’ve brought me my mate back, given me an excuse to spam about all day, chasing spots of sunshine in the house, and tomorrow the Genuises are having a friend over each- two of my faves are coming over for a play (No, I’m not calling it a play-date.  It’s just a play people.)… I bet we will bake and laugh and play some music and some Wii, and I won’t have to do one single Pokemon battle as numbers will be sufficient.  I might not even do my hair for the whole day.

*I am stopping calling events where you see a live band “gigs” from now on.  Sounds like I’m trying to be 24 again.  Henceforth I shall refer to them as concerts.

How are your holidays going?  

Do you have some Docs?  Send me a pic…

…From The Ashers xx

Check out the hits:

1.  Warranties.  How good are they when they work out?  I’ve got a newish car, MissXtrailia2013, and she’s developed a bit of a knocking sound somewhere down there and over to the left.  Dunno what it is.  So I took her to Nissan and they cleaned her and fussed over her, serviced her and checked her over and said she’s a bit broken due to all the hardcore four-wheel driving I do, and they: 1. knew she was under warranty, and 2. got the bits sorted and fixed her.  I didn’t even have to fill out a form.  You little bewdy.

2.  School holidays. Yippee.  Finally.  Blood transfusion today, and a sneaky flight a bit southward for a long weekend.  Ahhh, the freedom.  Can’t wait for some jammie days.  I will not be doing my hair (Hello boys).

3.  Blood donors.  Thanks for giving us a new fresh life, with a happy child.  If you’d like to join in on the best party in town, you can book a spot on  13 14 95.  Go on, you know you want to.

4.  Ryan Reynolds movies.  Yet again, there was one on late on a Wednesday night, this time with an intriguing and original story: two people, envious of each other’s lives, a freakish act of nature, followed by a body switch, whereby the duo learn to love their own lives. So yeah, not intriguing or original at all, but like all Ryan Reynolds movies, once they start I am compelled to watch them until the end.  Even if that end is midnight on a school night. Perhaps it was the thoughts that were provoked: Who would I like to swap lives with? Would I prefer my own challenges to someone else’s? Why do humans have to have something taken away before they appreciate what they have?   Or perhaps I was just compelled to watch in case Ryan got his shirt off.

You’re Welcome
(Saved you watching the shitty movie)

5.  Dirty Laundry on ABC2 on Thursday nights at 9.30pm.  Watch it.  Lawrence Mooney is a funny bugger and they say the eff word a lot.  Worth staying up for.   Unlike the above (shirt issues notwithstanding)

So there you have it.  A weird week, but ending up full of hits just the same.

Happy school holidays.  May your children sleep in and then offer to clean the skirting-boards.

…From The Ashers

Here are my hits of the week:

1.  The joy all of you took in THIS post.  It feels a bit like when I was watching “What really happens in Bali” to see if that guy with the dreadlocks did his dough on that shitty old boat.  I sense you all took an unnatural joy in my misfortunes.  That may or may not be called Schadenfreude.  Either way, I’m going to assume you were all laughing along WITH me, yeah?  It was fun to hear you all laugh though.

2.  Being outsmarted by the Evil Geniuses yet again.  Next term the school hosts exchange students for a week, and the EGs want one because: Pokemon.  Apparently they think a Japanese student will know all about Pokemon, and they can pick his brain.  This is after Liam previously telling me that learning Japanese is “a waste of my time”.  Anyway, they went and told the school that we were interested, and I just hadn’t handed in the form yet.  Neither of these statements are true.  So now the head of primary has emailed and asked if that would be okay and if we could it would be great and no pressure but we really need some parents of boys to host etc.  She knows I’m a nerd.  I’m sure she can smell my nerddom from her office (which I would never visit, because: nerd).  So of course I have said yes.  For a nerd, I’m a bit stupid.  So now I have an extra kid.  Probably a smart one.  These two are already too much for my little brain.

3.   This little snippet:

Apparently someone on Twitter got it in a fortune cookie.  I like it.  I like how it makes me feel.  Because that is just it, isn’t it?  It’s not OUR fault that things we don’t like in the world are as they are, WE are just little, insignificant snowflakes, aren’t we?

4.  This:

YES, you read it right, SALT. Who thinks of these things?

Have you had it yet? If not, get some.  I usually despise dark chocolate, but this stuff? Oh my.  Goes with a cuppa, goes with beer, goes with red wine, goes all riiiight on its own.

5.  Have I shown you this fruit bowl before?

Maybe not.  It was made by my mate Ben at Infinity Eco Designs, and it looks fresh, with some citrus gifted to me from my country patients. Check out Ben’s webby, he makes some pretty cool things. I want the Arcade Game thingy, but it’s slightly out of the price-range, perhaps he’ll give me a discount if I blog about it? *

*Not a sponsored post, but you know I WOULD do one for a free game thingy. Ben? BEN?

Happy Weekend to you all, hope its a goodie.

…From The Ashers xx

Well, it’s been a week.  A short one, but a week of hits none the less.

1.  Fancy Champi with friends at Mum’s place.  What kind of (overgrown) kid would I be if I didn’t have a party (of sorts) at my parent’s place when she is away.  I only hope I arranged the cushions properly when we left, otherwise I’m gonna be busted…  Hope she doesn’t read the blog.

Note: Two glasses. Sorry fellas.

2.  Finding my old English assignment- what was then called an ‘Option’.  It is neither good, nor insightful, or even well put together (However, much of it IS excruciating).   But I do remember loving doing it, going through the process of creating something from nothing, and having free reign to do so.  It was probably about the only part of the work in my later years of schooling that I actually liked.  It is interesting to note that I didn’t recognise how much I loved to write until this late stage in life, and so instead went off doing science degrees and the like.  Which is not at all my forte.  Lucky I had my eyes on the career at the end of all the mindless biochemistry, or I would have been stuffed.  Finding it was a fun trip down memory lane.

3.  Cooler nights: not a hit, but uggies and early nights and watching telly under a blanket, well that was kinda nice.

4.  This book:

I’m only just wading in, but it’s pretty good so far.  Intense, but good.  I think we will be great friends.  And in other news of books, one of my patients, Allison Paterson, has just completed the finals on her book called ANZAC Sons, a compilation and story behind over 500 letters sent from three brothers on the Western Front.  Gives me the shivers just thinking about it.  I can’t wait for its release (Remembrance Day this year).  A final bit of book news: you know Anna Spargo-Ryan?  Well she is one of my fave authors, and this week she sent me a bit of her novel-under-construction to read, for which I feel humbled and honoured.  As you would expect, it is wonderful.  I am by turns insanely jealous, and stupidly excited that this will soon be a thing.  Well done both of you girls, your tenacity and ability to write such a lot of words, is frankly, quite amazing.

5.   The soccer World Cup starting tomorrow morning… NAH, just joking, I couldn’t give a shit!!  But it’s 10pm, I’m tired, I worked my tiny phalanges to the, well, phalanges today and I can’t think of another hit right now.  So go Aussies, fare you well, and in another more interesting front: GO DOGS.

P.S.  For those concerned souls who have been asking, Woofa the Shitcat’s eye appears to be fine.  Over a grand later, we called enough, and just didn’t make an appointment for yet another (fifty dollar) eye pressure test.  In all my vetinary wisdom I took her off the meds, and we went about our business.  Liam and I did the ocular testing (hung a thingy in front of her eye and watched to see if it looked like she could see it, shone a torch into her eye to see if the pupil responded- being the old school type of vets we are) and she seems fine.  So fingers crossed all is well, because I don’t suppose we can go back to that vet again…

Happy Second Long Weekend if you are in Maroochy Shire (bastards), otherwise, Happy Normal Weekend.

And don’t forget to send me some of your shit poetry as mentioned on the blog yesterday.  I know you have it saved up somewhere.. Janine and I can’t be the only ones.. Can we?

…From The Ashers xx

So here they are, my hits of the week…

1.  I lost my Bean Hunter coffee cup a while ago.  Spewing.  So if you’ve found it, feel free to drop it in to me.  In the meantime I go this baby from the bookshop in Eumundi.  It’s by Keep Cup.  It reckons that it would take about twenty take-away cups to make one of these, so I guess I’d better not lose it before then.  I’ve had five so far.  Seriously though, don’t you love these cups?  I love drinking my hot bevvies out of an adult sippy cup, and I like to imagine myself all New York-y when I drink on the run.  Not sure if the colours are NYish though. There was a black and grey one, but hey, I live at the sunny end of the continent.  We do colour..

2.  I’ve mentioned my day-time writing space before, but do you wanna check it out?  This is the view:

And this is where I sit:

Nath constructed a kick-arse bar table and six stools up here- it took four blokes and my brother to get it up here.  For a while we wondered if the balcony would actually hold it.  Anyway, I call this place the iDeck on weekends, but during the day it is Top Deck: World’s Best Treat.  (Nath calls it Bar Up, but that’s another story).  It is perfect in Winter- a slight breeze, but the walled-in sides keep you warm, and it gets the arvo sun.  Right now I’m sitting here in a singlet.  In the WINTER.  Once, I mentioned to Nath that we should get some lighting up here, and quick as a flash he was off to Bunnings to get these:

The dude is an idiot.

3.  Catching up with friends.  Do you have different friends for different things?  Seems I do.  And this week I got to catch up with two different types.  1. My piss head mates.  They are our ‘before kid’ mates.  Poor things, ‘cos now we are hopeless at playing like we used to, but we can bring it on the odd occasion.  2. An after-kids mate.  In fact, so ‘after’ that she still has a rugrat of her own making, in tow. So we do take-away coffees and parks, to avoid the disapproving stares of cafe owners (Yes, I’m looking in your general direction Eumundi, and NOT at the Boho, which was unfortunately closed), where we can talk about the world and our lives and solve many things.  Hey there friends: you make me ol’ heart swell, you do.

4.  Afternoon tea, arriving unbidden from a patient.  If you are a parent at STM, then you’ll probably guess who popped in with this date loaf- all packaged up in cello like it was from a shop, and tasting even better.  If you still can’t guess, think: adult onset ADD, think: brings you soup when you’re crook, think: can organise your entire school holidays to the very last minute.  She handed it over with a breezy, “It’s a bit dry, but you won’t mind ‘cos you don’t bake.”  And she is RIGHT.  On both counts.  She KNOWS me.  Thanks luv.  Just what the (pretend) doctor ordered.

5.  I know I already told you about Pene and the astro-charts that she has been doing for our family, but my goodness, can I stress again how good they are?  I got Liam’s done this week, and it was eerie, listening to someone describe your kid with words that your brain had been hovering around.  I think I mentioned last time, that I got them done not as some “Let’s predict the future” thing, but more to get some clarity around the kids I have.  Maybe what motivates them, what makes them tick.  I’m a sucker for any sort of personality profiling, and this felt like another version of that, but with more personalised detail.  Pene said she can do consults over the phone, so you don’t have to be a Sunshine Coast local to have a go.  I took notes like I was in an embryology lecture, listening to the miracle of a life unfold.  Good darts.

STOP PRESS STOP PRESS STOP PRESS

Pene, the astrology consultant to the stars me has just messaged me (perhaps she predicted she would be on the blog, or maaaybeee she just read it) and said she would give 20% off to any  From The Ashers blog readers.  Ring her now on 0414562162 or email her on penelopy.walsh@gmail.com and book in before she changes her mind (I think she’s a Leo or some such and they’re always changing their minds*).  Seriously, do it.  Use this code: ALISONisGROUSE** to redeem your offer***.

*Might not be an actual astrology fact.

**Also might not be a fact.

***There really is an offer though.  Pinky Swear.

Well that’s about it… Happy Long Weekend everyone.  I hope it’s relaxing and fun and you get to have a good belly laugh at least once, oh, and that the horrible couple get kicked out of House Rules.

…From The Ashers xx

Here’s the hits, dooods:

1.  I think I may have shared with you how much I like short term gain.  Especially for very little investment.  And that is why I love House Rules.  No weeks and weeks of waiting to see the “reveal” on this baby.  It’s all over in a week.  House Rules does come with one drawback though:  THE BITCH.  There is always a bitch isn’t there?  And this one is a doozy (yes, I just typed doozy and autocorrect allowed it, even thought it won’t allow fuckstick.. Go figure.)  Anyway, I hate this bitch character with all the beige hatred I can muster at 8pm of an evening when I am safety ensconced on my couch in my comfortable home.  I direct much invective in her direction.  I may have called her a “slut” a little earlier this evening.  I know not why.  Seems a bit extreme now I look back on it.  Oh well.  I’m sure the scriptwriters at Channel 7 would be happy with the level of my emotional investment.

2.  Praise the baby cheeses for haircuts (and hairdressers)!  I have been growing my hair for a while now and it is driving me slowly, but irrevocably insane.  I am follicularly abundant, so there is TOO MUCH HAIR.  I can no longer cope with the equivalent of a normal person’s ponytail shoved behind each ear, as I try to grow it.  So yesterday I went to Jules and said “GET RID OF THIS HORROR”.  She refused because she is a long-hair chick and also bossy and she wants to see it longer.  She did, however deforestate the shit out of it with her thinning scissors.  Oh sweeeet relief.

3.  Sydney Swans vs Geelong.  Greatest winning margin ever against the Cats.  Most  possessions ever in a game.  Well done little Swannies.  I have a soft spot for them, South Melbourne was such a sad little club way back in the Then, and they were so brave to move to a state lousy with rugby, and disdain for the code.  Cheer, cheer the red and the white.

4.  Coco mastered the cartwheel.  I guess I’ve told you before about her tenacity- for a kid who isn’t that strong, and who fatigues easily due to her anaemia, she is full of surprises.  She has been trying to cartwheel for the last month or so.  Often.  In our bedroom.  Hitting the walls with her feet.  Hurting her wrists.  And sounding like she is about to smash through the ceiling when I’m working in the room directly below.  This week, she tamed the ‘wheel, and I granted her her ‘hard surfaces licence’ so she is now allowed to cartwheel on concrete.  So even though I have to hold my breath every time she does a flip, it makes my heart sing.

5.  Coles online shopping.  Do you do it?  Well if you don’t, take my word for it and get on it.  Stop wasting an hour or so every week trudging around the stupid supermarket.  In answer to your questions: yes you can still get the specials, yes the fruit is perfectly fresh, yes they deliver at a specified time, yes you can get it delivered at a time when you are busy working and your husband is home and therefore has to unpack it.  All that and you can get it done during one of the ad breaks of Elementary.  Do it.

So there you have it, the hits of the week.  Have a great weekend, full of hits of your own…

… From The Ashers xx