Bunnings Shithouse (?)
Have you ever been to Bunnings?
I seriously hate that joint. With serious and hate.
Why do the aisles not line up? Why is the coffee so awful? Why does it smell so bad? And what scorcery is it, that allows adults, dressed in bright red, to be so camouflaged by a bunch of tools, when their service is required?
I am alone in my Bunning hatred over her at The Asher House. On any given weekend, at least one person will say “Let’s go to Bunnings”. The kids love to play there, Nath loves the rows and rows of tools that I won’t allow him to buy, and me? Well I don’t love one single thing.
In fact, on a lazy Saturday, the husband thinks Bunnings ticks all of the parenting boxes.
- Exercise for children, by playing in a “park”? Tick
- Creative stimulation for children, by doing craft? Tick
- Purchase of some thing or other for home improvement, in the hope of getting laid? Tick
- “Healthy” lunch from sausage sizzle? Tick
- Donation to charity via said sausage sizzle? Tick
Apparently everybody wins. As long as I don’t have to go, that is.
So tonight was Halloween, and I was working until about 8.30pm, so ‘weening was up to Nath and Coco, (Liam is at school camp: my heart lives outside my body right now, but more of that another day when I can breathe again). Those two little blue-eyes colluded together and chose what they would get up to. They spoke in whispered tones and made their intricate plans, before announcing to me, “We’re going to Bunnings.”
WHAT?
Yep, apparently that cesspit of failed home improvement attempts also does celebrations: Easter, Christmas, Halloween.
So they went off at 5pm, excited and costumed. Things looked at little like this:
They arrived home well after 8pm. Coco usually goes to bed at 6.30pm. So I’m guessing they had some fun. There was face-painting, craft, a jumping castle, billions of kids and a free sausage sizzle. At the hardware store.
When I was tucking that strange li’l punkin-fairy-thingy up in bed, I asked her if she had a fun Halloween. “Oh Mummy”, she said, “it was the best Halloween ever. I love Bunnings Warehouse. The lowest prices really are only just the beginning.”
So there you have it.
Maybe the joint aint all bad.
(And who says my kids watch too much telly?)
Do you do Halloween?
What did you go as?
A self imposed Bunnings Ban- I like it A LOT. I have that with those Reject/Warehouse shops. I once purchases a thingy to pick up pickled onions from a jar.. So, yeah, problem…
Oranges?!!! At least there will be no scurvy on your watch. (We have only ever had one trickertreater. I had no lollies so offered him an apple or 2bucks. He took the cash)
13 years ago when we moved into our house – after about 6 weeks we actually banned ourselves from going to Bunnings – we would go to buy a paint brush and come home $150 poorer with a whole heap of stuff we didn’t knew we needed (and 13 years later we probably still don’t need !!!) – so after the umpteenth trip of having that happen – we just stopped going. Now A goes if he wants something but, unless we are painting, I very rarely step into Bunnings.
Last night we had two trick or treaters come by – we offered them oranges because we don’t have lollies in the house – they said thanks but not thanks. After that nobody else came around – not sure if it was because they had spread the word not to come to our place or whether there just weren’t any more ?
Have the best day !
Me
That’s awesome Chrissy. I can just imagine Hayden’s screams.
We usually go to the Marina (Bat Burgers? Yes please) but last year it was soooo crowded that the Silverback couldn’t face it alone. Plus: they know his name at Bunnings.
Who knew Bunnings even did that!
You would think that not having a child I would be able to avoid the halloween festivities. But no my friend Kathy asks if she can bring her 5 year old to my door to trick or treat as there is no way she is knocking on strangers doors. So we decide she will come and trick or treat my house and then we will go to Noosa Marina’s Halloween party. At 4pm I got a text from so called friend saying Hayden is oh so excited and keeps saying I can’t wait to go to Chrissy’s party. Holy crap was this kid going to be disappointed. 4.30pm I am in the discount store buying plastic pumpkins, a skull, spiders and a plastic axe etc and by 5pm my house looks like some very lame attempt at pretending to be halloweeny. But hey at 5.45pm the little 5 year old scary shark (yes he was a shark) rocks up and I can hear giggling and laughing because he thought the halloween crap was awesome. After ooeing and aahing he finally made it to the door and I couldn’t help but laugh as Hayden in only the way he can said Twick or Tweat Tissy followed by a round of giggles. So it was worth it. And Hayden just loved that $2 axe so the $2 axe became part of the scary shark costume and off we went to Noosa Marina. It was fabulous. They had heads hiding under buckets, gruesome gunge, dancing competitions, a free sweet if you said trick or treat and even a pirate ship. All the staff were dressed up and I’m going back next year kid or no kid lol 🙂
That sounds eminently suitable Suavey. I know just the spot… Views, thick brown liquid gold and not a nail in sight…
Ohhh noooo. Another one. In the spirit of Halloween you are all becoming “one of us, one of us”….
And even though I don’t want to sell it, they didn’t have an orgy of crap lollies, just one eyeball each and fairy floss.
And all the staff were dressed up…
PS AND when I called up to book it was like the song from Cheers- they knew Nath and the kids by name…. Weeeird (I think that means he isn’t stealing paint)
Mrs Suave LOVES the Bunnings, while I’d rather have the rough end of the o’ the pineapple shoved where the sun don’t shine. Em, Nath & Coco can ‘do’ the Bunnings, you and I can go to the pub or grab a coffee at the beach.
We are so going there next year. My kids love Bunnings too and I’m with Nathan on the kid entertainment/exercise factor. I’ll even go there not to purchase, just to steal paint samples for the kids craft! (Has he thought of that? Free craft supplies). We stayed home and had probably 60 kids come for free junk and then we had to walk the streets with ours to collect their free junk. Much better quality control at Bunnings.