Image courtesy of Grey’s Anatomy, 37th ed. I knew that bloody heft of a forest would come in handy one day…

Me: Hey mate, I hear you are growing a bit of a Mo, how’s it going?

Liam: Not bad, not bad at all.

(Strokes ‘moustache’ like his Pop used to do)

Liam: Yeah, its’ coming along, about on a par with my hairy legs, and a little in front of my chest wig.

(Lifts t-shirt to reveal Mr. Puniverse thorax, with a completely, absolutely and utterly, bald chest.)

Liam: It’s weird, I have this Mo, but no other public hair.

Me: Huh? Did you say public hair?

Liam: Yeah, you know, the public hair.

(Gestures to his nether regions. Thankfully he doesn’t feel the need to elaborate with a display at this time.)

Me: It’s called PUBIC hair, mate. As in, the hair that grows near the pubis, pubes, or pubic bone of your pelvis.

(Now I’m gesturing to my nether regions. Oh sweet life, WHAT is going ON here?)

Liam: Ohhhhh, I thought it was public hair, as in, it tells the public that you are ready to reproduce. And stuff.

Conversation Officially Terminated at 7.10am. Way too much information has been shared before my first coffee (or wine). I do not wish to know what “and stuff” is. Not at all.

So how are your pube-y talks coming along?

Have you been putting your pubes out in public? (For strictly reproductive reasons of course)

…From The Ashers xx

Liam has just turned ten. He is medium sized, blonde and a little on the skinny side. So not at all precociously developed. He wears size eight clothes.

He came to Nath yesterday rubbing his upper lip.

Liam: Dad, I think I’m about to hit puberty.

(He is desperate for puberty because he is hoping to get pimples. Yes, he is my son.)

Nathan: What makes you think that mate?

(As clearly it is not the presence of any primary sexual characteristics that has prompted this thought.)

Liam: It’s just that I seem to be developing quite quickly at the moment. Check out my moustache. It’s still blonde, but as you can see, it’s really coming along.

(There is no visible evidence of said moustache.)

Nathan: Hmmmm

(Not wanting to offend Liam’s impending Manhood.)

Liam: I know, it’s weird right? I mean, usually it’s usually the other way around, you get the pubic hair and all that, and then secondary sexual characteristics come, well, second. I’m doing it in reverse order. Weird.

(Nathan now has nothing. He isn’t even sure what is a primary or a secondary trait.)

Liam: I reckon I’ll have to shave by Christmas as this rate.

(Liam walks off, talking to himself about Pokemon, in a voice so high pitched canines were cowering in Cooory.)

Seems legit.

Behold the magnificence of the Mo

…From The Ashers xx